


A Matter of Life and Death

by mrandmrslegendary



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 00:20:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10399446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrandmrslegendary/pseuds/mrandmrslegendary
Summary: When going through a painful break-up, Mats' boyfriend, Benni, wants to distract Thomas from the current events by setting him up on a blind date with a guy known as charming, good-looking and successful.What Benedikt doesn't know is that Thomas' date is no one other than his sworn enemy from high school. Mr. Perfect as he loves to refer to him, the man who got everyone under his spell, everyone but Thomas.It has all started with a seemingly harmless bet Robert makes with his friends: Trying to get Thomas, the outcast, into bed.What seemed like a harmless bet has a lot of shocking consequences for the both of them when shortly after Thomas wakes up in Robert's bed completely blacked out.Years later and the sworn enemies meet again on a blind date with Robert being a successful defence attorney and Thomas an aspiring football player with a passion for writing. But things are not as they seem with both of them keeping dark secrets from each other, putting each other in danger. Even though they share a tragic backstory, the two of them find interest in each other, an interest that could cost them their lives.It soon becomes a matter of life and death...





	1. The Blind Date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [byeeernx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/byeeernx/gifts), [satanic_horsemen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/satanic_horsemen/gifts), [Labambolina17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Labambolina17/gifts).



“Broken love is the most dangerous love. It will slice you open with every touch.”

“It’s over”, those words echo in Thomas’ ears and he remembers those being sad as if it was yesterday, probably because it was yesterday. 

“I really like you, Thomas”, insists Manuel, who has been really struggling with the situation not wanting to lose his friend but not feeling the same way. 

“Just not in that way.” 

The offensive midfielder stares into the distance trying to hold back the tears forming and almost rolling down his cheeks. To him it felt real, he has always thought Manuel has truly loved him, the way you love your partner and not just a friend. 

A new side to the (almost) always cheerful Thomas came to light, a side Manuel didn’t expect him to have. When looking into his eyes, he can see real pain and sadness, the goalkeeper was aware that his friend loved him the way you love a partner. But he couldn’t do this any longer, he can’t lie to him. Since he really cares about his friend, he needs to tell him the truth no matter how painful this might be for him. 

Gently taking his arm, Manuel looks into the man’s eyes, telling him that he is sorry. That he is sorry for not telling him sooner. Telling him that there was nothing he wanted more than to fall in love with him. No matter how much he tried, the football player couldn’t, Thomas is nothing more than a good friend to him. 

“I just hoped we could still be friends”, pauses the taller man when observing his good friend’s reaction “Sooner or later, we have to give it time.” 

Manuel has expected his friend to nod, fake a smile and continue as if nothing had happened but he couldn’t have been more wrong about this. The striker pushes his hand away not even willing to face his friend any longer. 

“Friends? How do you expect us to be friends after everything that happened?” wants the German man to know trying to hold back his tears in a voice that could be determined as a mixture of anger and disappointment. 

“You told me you loved me and I fell for it.” 

Thomas shakes his head when packing some clothes into a bag and deciding to stay the night with a friend. After this, he can’t face Manuel anymore, it would just be incredibly painful. 

The two of them have been friends ever since they have always been inseparable and Thomas had this major crush on the taller guy. Nothing could make his heart beat faster than the man’s strong hands pushing him into a hug and not willing to let go of him. 

After having struggled with his sexuality, the striker decided to tell his best friend about his feelings and asked him out for prom since neither had a date. How could he forget Manuel’s blue eyes shining at the thought of them going to prom? That soft smile on his lips that would never fail to make Thomas’ heart melt. It has never been up for debate that the two of them loved each other, everyone around them could see how they genially cared for each other. But they cared for each other in different ways, to Manu Thomas was the first guy he met after moving to Munich. The best friend he made in high school but also the only one, but all he ever needed was him. He was the friend with whom he joined the local football club in their youth, the one with whom he would celebrate every victory with or with whom he would overcome every loss. But after all, he was just a friend, just his best friend. 

To Thomas, Manuel has been the first man to bring out a different side to him, in high school Thomas has been suicidal and the only person making an effort to keep him around was Manuel. The seemingly cheerful guy who couldn’t be bothered by anything hasn’t always been that way, with his parents going through a rough divorce and him not having found something to be passionate about, his life was empty and he felt straight up lonely. 

Manuel entered his life and he saw life in a different way, he started seeing the beauty in everything. Sure, at times he has been upset over a loss but it was Manuel who comforted him, who pushed him to become a better football player and most importantly to be the person Thomas would have trusted his life with. He remembers Manuel having been injured before a very important match and not being able to train with him, those were the moments that made him realise that Manuel is all he ever wanted and needed. Football is his passion but he doesn’t need a lot of money or a big mansion in a popular surrounding, all he wanted was Manuel. Manuel the man who made an effort to be around him, the man who didn’t give up on him when even his therapist did. 

“Thomas, what are you doing?” asks Manuel soft trying to calm his friend done, who was furious “I’m really sorry. I hate myself for hurting you.” 

Ignoring the man’s attempt to apologize, he packs the most important things and decides to stay with a friend until things were back to normal. Even though Mats would always offer him his sofa, Thomas knew that it was time to move out of their apartment for a while. 

It would be better for the two of them and if they should rekindle their friendship one day, this would be the only way. 

“But you did, you did hurt me”, insists Thomas looking at him with a cold stare and seemingly dead eyes “You should have been honest with me. I’m staying with Mats for a while.” 

“Don’t-“, the goalkeeper wants to make him stay but realizes that the two of them could use space and that Thomas could use time apart from him. That’s only fair. 

“Hate me all you want, Thomas, but please be careful, okay? Don’t do anything dangerous.” 

Grabbing his bag, he glances at his high school best friend when nodding firmly. 

“I wish I could, I really do”, adds the man with his mind clearly somewhere else “I won’t.” 

After a 20-minute’ car ride to Mats’ house, it isn’t his friend who welcomes him but Mats’ boyfriend with his hair undone and his shirt unbuttoned. 

“I won’t ask”, declares the football player not wanting to know what the two of them have been up to this time. 

“Hello, Thomas”, greets Benni their mutual friend friendly but rather confused about him standing in front of his boyfriend’s door “Anyways, come in.” 

Doing as he is told, Thomas enters Mats’ living room with Mats wearing Benni’s favourite hoodie, the blue Schalke hoodie, Mats’ boyfriend adored but Mats hated. 

“Didn’t know you like Schalke?” teases the football player his friend knowing that he just hit a soft spot with Mats rolling his eyes annoyed and not willing to talk about the football club he dislikes. 

“Benni is turned on by me wearing this”, insists the football enthusiast hiking his shoulders “But what are you doing here at 10 pm on a Saturday evening?” 

His boyfriend gives Mats a knowing look, offering them to grab some beers because he knows that conversation could take a while. 

“Manuel broke up with me”, explains Thomas surprisingly straight forward “And I hoped I could stay some days, I mean I can’t stay in our apartment…-“ 

“What a question, the sofa is yours”, invites Mats his friend to stay over for some days “You guys broke up? Why? You have been perfect together.” 

Carrying three bottles of beers, the Schalke fan approaches with his shirt bottomed and giving the two of them a weird look. The three of them loved partying together but Mats and Thomas usually don’t lead serious conversations pretty often. 

“What happened?” questions Benedikt when taking a seat next to his boyfriend on the sofa, watching the scene rather confused. 

“Manuel and I are done”, confesses Thomas to his friend clearly struggling with tears while Mats observes the two of them “He doesn’t love me that way and I can’t look at him right now.” 

“I promised Benni to watch the Schalke match with him…-“, adds Mats when it’s his boyfriend to immediately interrupt him, knowing that Thomas could use some distraction now. 

“Mats, it’s fine”, disagrees the man from Gelsenkirchen with him “Thomas could use some distraction and I know where he can get it.” 

“What are you doing?” wants Mats to know, knowing that Benedikt would never skip a football match under normal circumstances. But on the other hand, those weren’t normal circumstances. 

“Calling a friend”, replies the man having an idea how to cheer Thomas up a little when it’s Mats trying to convince him to go out with them. 

“I swear if this is some weird couple thing, I’m out”, Thomas tries to turn the offer down but knowing Mats wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

“You’ll love him”, promises the man from Gelsenkirchen ending the call when Mats asks Thomas to put on his best suit knowing that the two of them would immediately hit it off. 

“He is already there”, remarks Benni enthusiastic when glancing at Mats who tells Thomas that this will be a date he will not forget. That the man with whom he’ll go on a date is someone he likely won’t forget and damn it if Thomas only knew how right Mats was. 

“Hey, Robert”, greets Benedikt his friend with a big smile when introducing him to Thomas “Robert, this is my friend Thomas and Thomas, this is my friend Robert.” 

“Glad to meet you…-“, starts the football player when it hits him. 

This is Robert Lewandowski, the popular guy who used to make a competition out of everything. The one who was better at everything than himself, the man who got all the girls and guys while Thomas has always been the outsider. For years, he has wanted to actually be him, the perfect, flawless Robert that everyone adored and who was good at everything he did. But to him Robert wasn’t flawless, he has never had a good feeling about this man and on graduation day he swore to never see that selfish, egocentric prick ever again in his life until today he actually does. 

“Hi Thomas, glad to meet you”, the triumphant smile takes over his face and him clearly enjoying what he sees when it’s everyone else who directly fell under his spell but he won’t. 

He would never fall for Robert Lewandowski, that’s what he at least thought. 

“Benni, I didn’t know you know so many handsome men.” 

Benni smiles, taking it as a compliment when it’s Mats’ who is a little annoyed about being ignored. 

“Benni not knowing handsome men?” coughs Mats a little offended when it’s Benedikt taking his hand when rolling his eyes not able to believe that his boyfriend is such a drama queen. “Shut up Mats, you are the most handsome”, declares the Schalke fan when a little smile form on the man’s face having heard what he wanted to hear “But Thomas, have you known that Robert works as a defence attorney? Isn’t that an awesome job?” 

“It’s not a big deal”, says the man modest not wanting to draw too much attention to him “I’ve heard you are a football player, Thomas? You have talent.” 

“I have?” questions Thomas confused about his nemesis complimenting him when it’s Robert giving a little too much information. 

“It’s almost as good as your writing”, insists Lewy with his blue eyes lying concentrated on the man sitting opposed to him “You should have become a writer, I bet you have enough to write about.” 

I bet you have enough to write about, this sentence keeps replaying all over again, what does he mean? Is he talking about their time in high school? 

Years ago: 

He breathes heavily, his hands are shaking when looking down on the road in front of him. 

“It won’t hurt”, whispers the man to himself all over again until at some point he might believe it. 

Only some more steps until he reaches salvation until he reaches a place without Robert Lewandowski. He has always been depressed but the current events triggered him. A year before the man found himself waking up next to everyone’s darling, Robert, having no idea what happened that night. But telling by the man’s gaze he could think of what perhaps happened, those memories haunt him every day. Why did he black out? 

What if Lewy raped him? What really happened that night? He simply can’t turn off those questions constantly taking over his mind and driving him slowly but surely insane. Since then Robert didn’t let a day go by without making Thomas’ life hell, he always needed to be better than the outsider. Thomas, whose passion is football, even had to deal with the other man joining the football club and soon becoming captain, something he has devoted all his time in high school to. But why does everyone love a cruel, heartless man like him? How does everyone fall under his spell? A man who would do whatever it takes just to win a stupid bet. 

The jealousy and hate took over his body, grabbing his drink to make all of this less painful. He mustn’t feel the pain when his head hits the road when the blood streams out of his body. 

Thomas could no longer sleep at night, he tried therapy but even his therapist gave up on him and eventually this would be the salvation he needed. This would free him from all the pain he can’t take. One more step, tells the man himself while trying to stay calm and not looking down on the street, you’ll manage just take one last step to end all of this. Standing on the edge of the bridge, his right foot moves in front of the other, swinging without ground beneath. Taking three deep breaths, Thomas turns around to see what is around him when he can’t believe what he sees. Robert Lewandowski. 

The man is standing on the other side of the bridge also about to jump, a drink in his hand and his gaze focused on the street right in front of him. 

“What are you doing here?” wants Thomas to know furious “Can’t believe you even ruin my death.” 

“Thomas?” questions Robert insecure, his voice is breaking and he looks like a mess. He mustn’t have slept in days, the dark eyebags beneath his eyes could tell. His eyes were filled with tears and his hands were shaking the way Thomas' hands were shaking, perhaps the two of them weren’t that different from each other. 

“Why do you want to jump?” is everything his nemesis wants to know when his eyes filled with tears are focused on him. He has never seen him that way, he only knows the successful Robert Lewandowski, the one everyone adored and the one who wouldn’t let a day go by without making a competition out of everything. 

“Why?” asks the man rhetorically, his nemesis must know the answer, he made the past few years in high school hell for him, he wouldn’t miss on an opportunity to try to put him down. 

“I’m an outsider, you make my life hell and the night I black out still haunts me every night. I can’t sleep knowing that you were close to me that you did things to me against my will. You ruined me, you ruined my life so please go. Just go and don’t ruin this.” 

He doesn’t have the guts to take the next step, all he wants is clarity, clarity about what really happened that night. 

“Thomas, don’t”, begs Lewy, something he would have never expected. He was clearly struggling with his own demons, trying to keep his voice under control without success. He could hear it breaking and shaking at the same time, he had no control over his body anymore. Tears start streaming down his cheeks, first, he intends to cover them up until he no longer cares about Thomas seeing that. 

“Nothing happened that night. It was a stupid bet and I told everyone about our night just for them to let go of the idea that I haven’t slept with anyone and that I’m scared.” 

“Why should I believe you?” ignores the outcast his enemy’s attempt to stop himself from jumping “Give me a reason not to jump, Mr Perfect.” 

“If you jump, I’ll jump too”, insists the man he has considered as perfect who seems to be in a very broken condition, with his right foot also taking a step forward until he stands on the edge of the other side of the bridge getting ready to jump. 

Present: 

“I think so”, replies the man not knowing what to think of the date with his nemesis who tries to play nice but who is he kidding? 

“Excuse me for a moment”, explains the high school nemesis when making his way to the restroom with Thomas knowing that something is up. 

It's Robert walking up to the mirror facing himself in the mirror and it’s like he doesn’t even know the man standing in front of the mirror anymore. He has everything he ever wanted but not what he needs but things are complicated. 

The memories of his suicide attempt take over his mind, placing his hand on his heart makes him remember all his stitches from high school. He hated himself for doing all of this to Thomas, for all his horrible schemes and lies. At some point, he couldn’t take it any longer. That’s when he started cutting, it gave him a feeling of satisfaction to finally punish himself for causing harm to Thomas. If it wasn’t for Thomas, he wouldn’t have hesitated a moment to jump but the way Thomas reacted to his suicide attempt left him wondering, The popular guy has made his life hell, he made every day painful for a man who just desperately tried to find his place in high school and would have done everything just to make others happy. But Thomas has been wrong, he wasn’t the perfect man, he wasn’t loved by everyone because nobody could reveal his dark secret. 

When taking a look at himself in the mirror and the stitches on his arm, the man closes his eyes wishing that things would have never gotten that far. That’s not what he truly wants but a job is a job. 

“Are those stitches?” wants Thomas to know, slowly approaching when his fingers last on the man’s arm covered in stitches. He can’t believe his eyes, those stitches were incredibly deep and he could see the pain on Robert’s face when the outsider’s fingers last on the other man’s arm. After having realised who was standing in front of him, Robert pushes the man away while covering his arm with his white shirt not wanting anyone to know about it. 

“Why did you do that to yourself?” is the question that the football player can’t get out of his head with his eyes fixed on the mirror in the front of him. Lewy’s expression softens and he is glad that he didn’t get mad about this very personal question. A sad smile forms on the man’s face with his gorgeous blue eyes staring directly into the mirror directly meeting Thomas’ and for a moment it is as if they can’t take their eyes off each other. 

“Because of you, every stitch was for hurting you”, declares the man keeping a straight face, his face seemed without any expression when stepping away from the mirror. He turns around to face his date, who was shocked about that confession. 

“Stay away from me for your own good. You are in great danger”, insists the defense attorney honest almost begging him to leave, this would make things less complicated. 

This would mean he wouldn’t have to do what he has to do, this would mean he wouldn’t have to complete his mission. 

First, he wants to find out more about his nemesis when fighting the urge, knowing that Robert would always find a way to ruin his life in an even worse way than before. Eventually, after having taken some deep breaths, he decides that this guy is really danger and that he should get out of here as fast as possible. With Thomas having closed the door behind him, it’s Robert pulling the gun he has hidden all night, takes some deep breaths until opening the door to the restaurant. He points the gun directly at Thomas about to pull the trigger, his eyes are cold, seemingly empty, full of hate and all his hands aren't even shaking. He is determined to complete his mission and eliminate his enemy once and for all. 


	2. Enemies with Benefits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Robert and Thomas' date escalating, the two of them reveal the real reason for their hatred for each other.  
> It all once again goes back to high school and a seemingly harmless competition bringing the two of them closer than ever before.  
> The two competitive men decide to deal with all of this the way real man would do, a penalty shootout. For every missed shot, they are supposed to strip one part of clothing which eventually ends in a night none of them will possibly forget.  
> Meanwhile, Robert and Thomas are supposed to deal with their unfinished business from high school on a date completely gone wrong and with Mats and Benni dropping a big bombshell, the two of them are forced to cooperate for one more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special dedication for satanic_horsemen for this chapter because you inspired me a lot and came up with the iconic sock moment, thank you very much. :)  
> So thank Nina for the probably most iconic sock moment there will ever be, I mean who thought that socks can be that sexy? xD

“Robert…-“, intends the man to speak but can’t make a move, it is as if words couldn’t come out of his mouth anymore. He was desperate to speak, to make him hear those words but for some reason he couldn’t. His fingers were shaking when hoping for the other man not to pull the trigger.

Seemingly unimpressed, the man approaches, his eyes determined on his target and without showing any kind of insecurity or doubt. 

He catches sight of Thomas’ eyes staring back, there was some kind of softness in the man’s eyes, how couldn’t he notice? How couldn’t he notice those shiny, blue eyes that would light up when talking about something he is passionate about? But the same blue eyes darkening when in fear, the way they darkened in this very moment. 

“Before you shoot”, interrupts Thomas having gotten his voice back, still incredibly shocked about the currents events. He approaches until the two men are face to face, almost touching, putting his hand on the other man’s hand still holding on to the gun. 

“Tell me why you stopped me from killing myself, you hate me.” 

Not knowing what to answer, Lewy just keeps staring at the man, he was trained to overcome every attempt to have mercy with the person he is supposed to kill. But there is something, something that makes it impossible for him to pull the trigger even though he is determined to do so. 

He was trained to do this, he was instructed to kill. Robert wasn’t taught to have doubts about that what he does is the right thing, it isn’t even that his fingers are shaking. The man is in control of his body, nevertheless, there is no way for him to pull the trigger, something inside of him stops him from doing so. It’s an overwhelming feeling taking over his body telling him that he can’t shoot even if he’s capable. For once the man is convinced this is a mistake. 

“I didn’t want you to kill yourself”, declares the defence attorney, his eyes resting on the man’s eyes with an overwhelming clarity and calmness, nobody would have expected in a moment like that. There isn’t even a sign of regret or despair, it’s just a frightening calmness making Thomas cringe. 

“I’m meant to be the one behind the trigger.” 

“Why do you hate me so much?” intends the football player on knowing, eventually realising that he hesitates. If he really wanted to kill him, he would have gone for it. There was no denial that the man opposite of him would miss the target, he seems trained on this but something is holding him back. 

“Why I hate you? You really want to know?” gets the handsome man furious, not having expected him to ask this, that has been obvious all along. 

“You had it all, Thomas, you didn’t see it back then. You always had your friend’s back and not to mention all the times people had told me about your incredible football skills. I was sick of it and I’m sick of you.” 

Years ago: 

“Thomas”, announces the football coach having wanted to speak to the man alone after the previous match. It was something important, he said, but that has never been a good sign. 

“I have good news for you.” 

Not believing that the coach who is usually known for being the bringer of bad news for once has something fortunate to announce. 

“I want you to be captain”, declares the former second league player when facing his player “I know you can bring it far, you are ambitious and you have talent. To me you would be the ideal captain, so what do you say?” 

“I don’t know”, replies the writer insecure when knowing this has been everything he wanted “I feel really honoured about this and I really want it but I think Robert deserves it more.” 

The coach raises his eyebrow, it was known for the two men being sworn enemies, there didn’t go a day by without some conflict and it escalating. And all of the sudden, it’s Thomas suggesting his nemesis become the team’s captain, something he has worked towards to for years. 

It has always been him who was the last one left on the pitch while his teammates were busy spending their time in a different way, enjoying their youth. 

No matter how he sick he was, the aspiring writer would never miss a training. He couldn’t let his team down and even in a rough patch, all he cared about was the well-being of his team. 

“Robert? Are you sure?” questions the coach sceptical, facing the ambitious football player “He is a phenomenal football player but we both know he isn’t the team player you are. He doesn’t have your ambition, your will to sacrifice. Football isn’t his life. Please think about it.” 

“I will”, nods Thomas, packing his stuff and for some reason now that he got what he has worked towards to, it doesn’t feel that great anymore. 

For some reason, he can’t be happy about it, something everyone else would consider odd in this situation. His best friend would possibly slap him for not taking the offer, give him a long speech about how stupid he is for turning it down and eventually giving him a long hug, encouraging him to take it. 

But this wasn’t about Manuel, this was about him and he feels like Robert deserves being captain. Watching him play, makes him feel insecure about his own skills. As much as he hates Lewy with burning passion, there is no denial that he is an outstanding football player who could really bring it far. 

After the coach has left, it’s the Polish man walking into the changing room, he has been hiding in the shower all that time just to find what was important enough for the coach to talk to Thomas. But instead of being flattered of Thomas suggesting him as a captain, he is simply furious. It is supposed to be him being captain without him being the second choice again, he is sick of always being the second choice. For once Robert wants someone to make him their first choice. 

Two weeks later: 

“Time to announce the new captain”, declares the coach with all the players standing around him in the dressing room, it has been an exhausting training but everyone has been curious about the announcement. This has been the main topic for weeks now, they all needed to know. 

His gaze wanders to Thomas, giving him a questioning look when it is the football player to shake his head, rejecting the offer for once and all. Thomas is just glad for Manuel not to know because he knows his best friend wouldn’t like it, he has been waiting for his best friend to become captain for years now. Manuel is his number 1 supporter and would do everything to make him see succeed. 

Robert, knowing what is going on, glances at Thomas, recognising him declining the offer when his gorgeous, blue eyes eventually meet his. For a moment their eyes meet, it was intimidating but intimate at the same time. They have wanted this for years, the two of them have made a competition out of everything but not to build each other up. The two of them have intended to show the other that they are the better football player. 

In this very moment that wasn’t what mattered, Robert couldn’t take his eyes off Thomas, trying to figure out why he would miss out on the greatest opportunity of his life and watch his competitor succeed by it. He needed to figure out why a man could be so kind when he wouldn’t miss out on an opportunity to make his life hell. 

“Lewy, you’ll be our next captain”, announces the coach with a faked smile not being completely convinced about his decision “To me, you are the ideal candidate, you are an outstanding football player and I just know that your team is lucky to have you, on and off the pitch.” 

Thomas knows that those words are directed at him with the coach looking at him throughout the speech, trying to overplay it and let Lewandowski have that triumph for once. 

“Thank you, coach”, smiles number 9 with a big smile on his face, feeling obviously honoured about it “I won’t make you regret it.” 

When the striker celebrates his triumph and so does the team, it’s Manuel pushing his best friend into a tight hug to comfort him. His strong arms hold on to his best friend who should have been the team’s captain and not that arrogant, selfish prick, at least when it comes to Manuel. 

“I’m so sorry, Thomas”, whispers the goalkeeper into his eyes, looking at the smaller man and enjoying being that close to him “We both know, it should have been you. You are the ideal captain and the coach will realise it, I promise.” 

“It’s fine”, whispers Thomas clearly fighting with tears when his best friend lovingly strikes his back, encouraging him to not give up. 

“Hey Thomas”, walks the striker up to him with Manuel already giving him a very hostile look, something rather uncommon for the caring, loving man he is known for. 

“I’ll throw a party tonight to celebrate me, I thought you should be there.” 

“No he shouldn’t”, steps Manuel in front of Thomas willing to fight this teammate for being pretentious over something he didn’t quite deserve. 

“Enjoy your triumph but we all know that you don’t deserve it, Thomas deserves being captain.” 

“Manuel, it’s okay”, approaches the offensive midfielder his teammate, trying to calm him down a little “Can you give us a moment?” 

Manuel doesn’t seem to be happy about leaving the two of them alone because situations like that tend to escalate but Thomas should know what he is doing. 

“Go ahead, rub it in my face”, provokes the man his nemesis wanting to hear those words “Tell me how great you are, Lewandowski.” 

For a moment he keeps quiet, not reacting to the other man’s provocation deep down knowing that it isn’t him who deserves the honour for this. 

“I can take it”, tries the man to get any reaction from his nemesis, even fighting is better than his competitor being silent. There is nothing more frightening than the man not putting him down by telling about his success and rubbing it into his face. 

“Fine, as much as I hate saying it”, confesses number 9 a little uncomfortable with this conversation “But you would have deserved it more. I’ll only say it once. You aren’t that bad, I mean sometimes you actually, you know, hit the ball.” 

A little smile forms on the man’s face not believing that this is his nemesis’ way of actually complimenting him but he wouldn’t mind. He had to admit that he loved seeing his nemesis suffer that way and that, in some way, Thomas still felt flattered. 

“Was that a back-handed compliment?” laughs the offensive midfielder about the captain clearly struggling with the situation “Never tell anyone about it but at times you aren’t a pretentious prick.” 

The striker returns the smile and for a moment the two of them aren’t getting into a fight, they are just standing there, smiling at each other while telling each other that maybe, but only maybe, the other person isn’t that bad. 

Present Day: 

“Or should I say captain Müller?” reminds the former striker him of their mutual past “You really thought I didn’t know?” 

Thomas’ eyes widen in shock, how could he possibly know about him rejecting being the captain and suggesting his nemesis for the position? 

“That’s why you want to kill me?” wants the man to know, facing him and observing his reaction closely. “Because of some stupid competition, we used to have in high school?” 

“Why did you do that?” demands the man to know, not being able to believe why someone could possibly miss out on an opportunity like that. Without giving him an answer, Thomas glances at him when pointing at the gun that is now pointed directly at his head, not knowing what this is supposed to be. 

Years ago: 

“Let’s deal with this like men”, tells Robert Thomas and the later excepting him to start a fight as usual when the two of them are around each other. 

“Tonight, 10 pm on the campus.” 

First wanting to interrupt the man by telling that today wouldn’t suit because of the upcoming match day the following day but Robert wouldn’t take that as an excuse. The two of them have been fighting over the striker’s position constantly especially off the pitch. This is how men figure things out, at least this is what the two football players think. 

Some hours later, Thomas has dressed in his favourite sweatpants, wearing an old Bayern kit of Miroslav Klose, his big idol and hoping that this kit will help him beat the perfect Robert Lewandowski. He has already assumed that this would end up in a football duel and all he knew was that he wasn’t ready for it happening. 

“Müller”, greets the captain his teammate cold as usual, they didn’t meet for fun. This is serious business for the two of them, there can only be one winner, only one of them can be captain.

“Are you ready to lose?” wants the striker to know when approaching slowly, his hair has fallen perfectly and a triumph smile forms on his face. He won’t let go of this. 

Robert has been wearing his striker’s kit with the number 9, it is known to be holy to him and some baggy sweatpants and he was definitely up for a fight. 

“Let the game begin”, announces Thomas for some reason being turned on by their little competition thing but for sure not willing to admit that. “So what’s the plan, Lewandowski?” 

This has probably been the longest time the two of them have had a conversation without one of them beating the other or them insulting each other, to Thomas that looked like a very promising night. 

“My game, my rules”, insists the Polish man demonstrating the alpha male he is, something that he was known for “Penalty shootout, one shooting and the other one is the goalkeeper but there is a small detail making it interesting…-“. 

“Fine, you make the rules”, agrees the offensive midfielder eyeing the man standing right next to him “I’ll wait to beat your ass on the pitch”. 

“Every missed shot means stripping a piece of clothes. What do you say?” questions Robert suddenly being very close to him, close enough for them to almost touch, his eyes are focused on Thomas’ lips. He needs him to agree to this, Lewy’s plan for weeks has been this very match and him beating Thomas. 

“I’m in”, clarifies the man supposed to be captain, reaching for this opponent’s hand to begin this match with a fair, polite handshake between two very competitive men. 

“But you start”. 

Thomas makes his way to the goal and he has never tried to play as a goalkeeper. When watching Manuel, it always looked so easy and his best friend has always insisted on teaching him. Robert is standing on the penalty spot, clearly nervous, the man is known for never missing a penalty. He takes some deep breaths but he would stay cool. This is how it has always been, Robert not missing one penalty. 

His strong, right foot hits the ball, that is one of those typical shoots the goalkeeper just can’t save anymore. Even Manuel Neuer would struggle to save a shot like this but Thomas is concentrated even though having lost all hope to win this already. To his surprise, the ball arises on the near post. 

“You did this on purpose, didn’t you?” laughs Thomas realising that Lewy could have missed on purpose since he simply loves taking off his shirt shortly after a match, preferably with a lot of girls standing around him and admiring his body. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, replies the striker with a suspicious smile, at times he could be a really bad liar and it wasn’t difficult to expose him “Anyways a deal is a deal”. 

The Polish man slowly rolls the shirt up his torso, Thomas could tell that the other man was enjoying teasing him like that but he had to admit he couldn’t resist that body. Parts of his torso have already been exposed and the offensive midfielder is no longer able to think clearly but no one would in that moment. The sight of the muscular body even makes him forget about the man’s horrible personality, he has no control over his body and can’t take his eyes off the man’s abs that rather look like drawn. Those abs were too perfect to be real, it rather looked like a painting by Da Vinci than a real torso. It almost seemed like slow motion when the handsome man pulls his kit over his head, now exposing the complete torso and his perfect abs. When extending his arms, now with the shirt popping off his head, Thomas realises the man’s strong arms that are throwing the kit to the ground. 

“You can actually stop staring now”, insists the man rather flattered than concerned, winking with some devilish smile “I want to see you strip too”. 

Thomas blushes out of embarrassment, trying to pretend that he didn’t stare, walking up to the penalty spot. The shirtless man opposite of him shouldn’t be allowed to be a goalkeeper, who could concentrate on scoring when having to face him? 

“Hesitating, Müller, huh?” provokes the shirtless man his nemesis in order for him to finally shoot. Robert is very sure of his goalkeeper skills but he also wouldn’t mind seeing his teammate strip a little, he could already picture it. 

But all of the sudden, the Polish man is focused, focused on his teammate, knowing every move he would make. Even though the two of them hate each other off the pitch, they make a very good team on the pitch. They don’t need to communicate, in some weird way they make a dream team on the pitch, always knowing the other person’s steps. Thomas’ right foot determined to score as accurate as possible with his inside foot striking the ball, aiming for the top left corner but clearly having forgotten about his teammate being the goalkeeper. He isn’t just a teammate but the team’s captain, the man who he could trust blindly on the field and who could already tell what his next step was. Robert catches the ball easily just as if he has never done anything else in his life. A devilish smile forms on his face when observing his nemesis closely, knowing that the other man had to strip to. 

“It’s your turn now, Müller”, declares Lewy with this lasting smile, biting his lip and not ready for Thomas’ little performance “Time to take off your socks, Thommy. And put a little show to it”. 

His voice has sounded very seductive and Robert’s gaze focusing Thomas’ lips didn’t help. Thomas takes off his shoes when being willing to take off his socks slowly, he could feel his archenemy observing every step he makes. It doesn’t even take him looking at the Polish man, he has already known that he had this devilish, tempting smile on his lips and this bedroom stare, the one most girls have fallen for. The one that got everyone under his spell. 

“Come on, Thommy. You can do it sexier than this. Use your body a little bit more”, insists the striker not quite content with what he sees. 

Under normal circumstance, Thomas would have probably punched him for a statement like this but this wasn’t normal. And for some reason, it was almost like they were having a fun time together. His hand slowly rolling his gauntlets, until they uncovered parts of his legs. Lewy couldn’t take his eyes off the uncovered parts and excitingly watches every move the other man makes. Robert’s gaze slides from his thin thighs over to his legs and Thomas putting a show to it, can’t stop him from smiling like an idiot. 

“Like that?” questions the man not breaking the sudden eye contact with his enemy, first licking and eventually biting his lips. 

“Do you like it this way?” declares Thomas clearly not talking about taking off his socks anymore “I heard you want it rough?” 

“Mhmm”, nods the striker smirking devilishly when watching the end of Thomas’ little show and him taking off his socks in a very dramatic and seductive way. 

“Put them on the floor”, he demands dominantly not breaking the eye contact “Those won’t be the only thing ending up on the floor tonight.” 

The two of them continue with their penalty kicks and both of them don’t miss the next ones until it’s the last penalty kick and Robert gets distracted by the way Thomas looks at him. 

“Last kick Lewandowski, can’t wait for you to strip your pants”, indicates Thomas the other man’s loss, whose shot lacked accuracy and strength, he clearly did this on purpose but Thomas shouldn’t mind. Who would mind a handsome man striping? 

“Time to strip now”, insists the offensive midfielder biting his lower lip clearly enjoying the situation with his enemy stripping in front of him “Magic Mike style”. 

His eyes follow him slowly putting his sweatpants to reveal his boxer shorts and his muscular thighs, Thomas couldn’t help but stare any longer to Robert’s amusement. “Naughty boy”, comments the Polish man when exposing his strong legs with the German not even thinking about stopping to watch “You need to be punished.” 

Robert, who was only dressed in his black boxer shorts, glances at the man when slowly approaching until the two of them are face to face. 

“Punish me then”, declares Thomas speaking slowly and clearly for the other man to hear it, his voice wasn’t shaky and didn’t break throughout “Don’t spare, I deserve it.” 

Taking a look at Thomas almost begging for punishment, the man enjoys his dominance and pushes him closer to him, for their lips to touch for the first time. His lips had something addicting, they were like a drug to the football player. Over the years, he was desperate to feel that kind of passion, addiction and lust again, but he would never feel the sparks fly again like in this very moment. He could feel the first raindrops falling on his exposed shoulders but that only made it more complicated to resist Thomas. Both of them lean in, slightly tilting their heads signalising both of them are ready to lean into the kiss. 

Their lips touch slowly, closing their eyes like some reflex but the striker could feel how desperate his archenemy was for the kiss and so was he. The lips immediately transform into one very passionate, daring one with the both of them wanting more than just an innocent kiss. Robert’s hands fold in Thomas’ neck when Thomas lies his right hand on the other man’s chest needing to feel his abs and not able to resist touching his body. The Polish man gently bites the other man’s lower lip to tease him, symbolising he wants more than just this kiss. All he wants is Thomas on the floor, begging him to be punished. Robert pushes Thomas against the goalpost and the other man clearly enjoys it, not taking the teasing any longer. 

Clearly enjoying the sight of the other man pushed against the goalpost and being defenceless, the striker considers taking the kiss to another level, letting his tongue wander down the man’s neck, spicing it up with his head moving up and down taking advance of the man being defenceless. But Thomas couldn’t hold back his arousal, begging him to not stop. 

“You like this, hmmm?” laughs the football player breaking the kiss, having his rival begging for more when his hands wander under Thomas’ shirt and resting there for a moment. Thomas couldn’t hold back a moan out of frustration about the teasing and about the cold hands resting on his chest, he clearly liked Robert being in charge of things. 

“Stop teasing me”, complains the other man aroused when it is the other man to slowly take off the other man’s shirt biting his lip devilishly and his eyes full of lust. “I’ll do whatever you want me to.” 

“Take of your pants”, demands the captain watching every move he makes, clearly interested in that offer “Get on all fours immediately.” 

Doing as he told, Robert is taking charge of the situation, dominating the man in front of him until the man moans loudly in pain. Loud enough for his best friend Manuel to hear it, having seen what the two were up to and immediately leaving. How could Thomas sleep with a pretentious prick like Robert Lewandowski? Thomas lost all control over his body, tensing up and eventually reaching his climax. 

Present Day: 

“Go ahead, if you think that this makes you happy”, insists Thomas not even trying to talk him out of shooting him “I know we were rivals but I thought higher of you.” 

Slowly the man lowers the gun, but Robert is still not taking the eyes off him as if this wasn’t all of the story. 

“I don’t want this”, whispers Lewy insecure when dropping the gun to the ground, clearly both miserable and terrified what he is capable of. 

“I need to leave”, takes the man some deep breaths when being sure he needs to leave that situation as quickly as possible. Clearly, there has been something holding him back, just in the moment he was about to leave, he bumps into Mats and Benni who were clearly happy to see both of them. 

“Next round is on me”, declares Mats when Benni guides them over to the booth near the counter, both of them had no clue about what has really happened that day. While Mats is walking to the counter, Benedikt watches his boyfriend with a big grin on his face, an even wider grin than usual. This has been his typical good news smile and all of the people sitting in the booth knew, Benedikt has never been good at keeping the very good news to himself. “Mats, paying a round?” questions Thomas rather surprised when facing the man’s boyfriend “What happened?” 

Since they have been friends, none of them has ever seen Mats paying for a round of drinks but today he does and this makes things suspicious for everyone. 

“We have news”, declares Thomas’ friend with shiny eyes and a full-hearted smile when facing Thomas “We thought you should be the first to know.” 

“To know what?” wants the football player to know when facing his friend and desperate to know it’s going on. Whatever it is he has never seen his friends that happy before in his life. When Mats returns with a round of beer, Robert and Thomas stare at the two of them and want to know what’s going on. 

“Drop the bombshell”, demands Lewy when facing Mats whose smile widens when glancing over at the man he loves. 

“We got engaged”, insists the Schalke fan content with Mats putting an arm around him, not able to hide his enthusiasm. “Mats proposed to me today and I couldn’t help but say yes.” 

Thomas, who is not known as the touchy-feely kind of guy when it comes to a relationship, can’t hold back the excitement about the two of them finally tying the knot. They have always been considered as the married couple in their friend group. 

“Thomas, I want you to be my best man”, declares Mats when eyeing Lewy, who seems to follow this conversation very interested “But Manuel will be there too, you know, since Benni and he have been childhood friends. Actually, he is Benni’s best man…-“. 

Manuel. Hearing that name brings out so many different kinds of emotions, for one part it used to make him feel secure, Manuel meant home to him, wherever Manuel was, he felt at home. To him this was probably the most beautiful name there is, no words in the German language could possibly describe how much his heart raced when hearing his name. 

This time his heart races too but not because of enthusiasm but pain, anger and fear all at once. The break-up left him devastated but as horrible this date was, at least it made him forget about his broken heart. The fact that his best friend and the man he wanted to grow old with told him that to him this was nothing but friendship. 

He doesn’t know how he should possibly face him again in some months until then Manuel Neuer has his life figured out again, as usual, he always has things figured out. At that point he will probably be promoted, wearing his fanciest suit and supposedly dating a very attractive woman. 

As much as he wants to be friends with Manuel, he simply can’t. How is he supposed to be friends with the man he thought was the love of his life? He can’t even look the always perfect, Manuel Neuer, in the eyes anymore but he has always admired his way of having things under control. 

“It’s okay, Mats”, insists Thomas with his perfectly fake smile trying to cover up the void he feels in that moment “Things ended in a good way between us, don’t worry about it.” 

“I would love you to bring a plus one, Thomas”, spits the Schalke fan the truth “You are our best friend and we care for your well-being, right Mats?” 

“Right”, agrees Mats when his taking his boyfriend’s hand but still facing his friend “You being happy is very important to us even without Manuel.” 

Thomas nods, appreciating his friend’s concerns but not wanting to talk about this in detail. He puts on a fake smile and knows that the two of them know it’s fake but they don’t seem to be willing to address this, enough of this. After all, his best friends just got engaged and there is no time to make this only about him. 

“I can be your plus one”, tries Robert to break the suddenly upcoming silence when facing both of Thomas’ friends, feeling a little sorry for the man even though he wouldn’t admit this. He has other intentions for the party but he wouldn’t mind spending a little time with Thomas, Lewy shouldn’t develop feelings for this man but he can’t help it. 

“I mean Benni and I have known each other since forever”, explains the man with all of the group members giving him a questioning look “And I bet Manu would die of jealousy with you bringing such a handsome date. Who could blame him?” 

Mats rolls his eyes, trying not to get a little jealous about his fiancé’s very handsome guy friend. 

“I’m pretty sure, Benni will have the most handsome date of the night”, declares Mats a little jealous when still holding on to Benni, who couldn’t hold back a big smile about Mats being a drama queen as usual. 

“But I wouldn’t mind Thomas showing up with Robert.” 


	3. I Want Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To get Manuel jealous, Thomas takes Robert to the wedding of his best friends and the two of them pretend to be a couple, something that isn't as easy as the two men have previously thought, especially with the both of them having a lot of back story as enemies together.  
> Since Robert takes this date serious and tries to approach and Thomas, who only sees this date as a way to get Manuel back, conflicts are about to arise that make the two of them question their true feelings for each other.  
> With Manuel, Robert and Thomas meeting, the situation escalates and leads to Robert confessing Thomas his darkest secret, a secret that involves his (former) nemesis. Robert will be confronted with his past and Thomas will struggle with his emotions and might rethink if the only purpose of this date is to get his ex-boyfriend back.  
> Meanwhile, Mats and Benedikt get married in a heartwarming ceremony with their vows making Thomas rethinking his feelings and which will inspire Thomas to give his best man speech.  
> How will Thomas react to this very dark secret? Is there still hope for the two of them?

“I don’t think I was built for a love that is comfortable or uncomplicated. There is a restlessness in me that will always be drawn to dark, madly passionate things. The intoxicating highs and devastating lows. The chaos and the conflict." Beau Taplin

“Ready for the date?” wants the man wearing a very expensive, well-tailored suit to know when entering the other man’s apartment without asking for permission. 

This isn’t how he would have imagined the apartment of one of the most successful football players in Germany. He would have expected some fancy furniture, probably a penthouse apartment somewhere in the centre of Munich that ordinary people could never afford. But this was Thomas Müller after all. 

“It’s not a date”, insists Thomas when putting on his tie with the Polish man observing every move he makes “Who allowed you to come into my apartment?” 

The man just grins with that devilish smile Thomas could never resist and he feels the other man’s gaze following every move he makes. To his own surprise, he even enjoyed spending time with Robert Lewandowski, of course just to not show up as a single on his best friend’s wedding with his ex-boyfriend as the best man. 

“It’s a date, Müller”, disagrees his nemesis putting his hand on Thomas’ chest, apparently to fix his shirt but for some reason couldn’t take his eyes off the other man wearing a suit. 

“Wow, I wish you’d dress up for me like that”. 

“I’m sorry?” questions Thomas when the two of them enter the cab and the football player incredibly confused about his nemesis just giving him an actual compliment. 

“Fine but it will be the only date we’ll ever have”, declares the German player clear enough for the former team captain to understand “Are we clear, Lewandowski?” 

Robert nods when observing Thomas and biting his lower lip. And damn it if the night the two of them had with each other has not been the best one he has ever had, he doesn’t know what could have been. The team captain before known as a womanizer, afraid of commitment and to egoistic at that for any person to spend longer than one wild, passionate night with him. He has never even considered being into guys. Robert just has never felt anything when sleeping with girls but he thought it was just because none of them has been special to him, to him all it was, was fun. Things with Thomas have been different, his deep hatred for him in high school interfered with the urge to ask him out and actually be close to him. 

“I’ve always known I’m just a guy for one night”, declares the former football player seemingly unimpressed by Thomas rejecting him in some sort of way “Nobody would want to wake up next to me, I know. I’m a pretentious prick. I know. Anything to add?” 

“I’m good”, explains the man sitting next to him trying to hold back a laugh because it has been as if Robert has just read his mind. Those have exactly been his thoughts in that specific moment. “No further addition, pretentious prick.” 

The two of them exchange a short glance not able to hold back their laughter, it has always been like the two of them had a fun time even though still not letting go of shit talking the other. But afterwards, there is some silence between the two of them, their eyes have found their way back to each other, his shiny blue eyes meet Robert’s gorgeous blue ones. 

“Robert?” questions Thomas not breaking the eye contact, slowly approaching a little and leaning closer to him “Can I ask you something?” 

“Go ahead, Müller”, says Robert also not willing to break the eye contact, it has felt very intense and he didn’t want any of this to stop. “You won’t shut up anyways, you’ll most likely give a rant on it or on why you love horses and I can’t listen to that bullshit again.” 

While his former teammate tries to keep a straight face, Thomas can’t hold back a big, whole-hearted smile because for some reason his nemesis is right but he no longer takes himself serious enough to not laugh at himself. 

“You just ruined the moment”, insists Thomas pretending to be very annoyed “I wanted to ask you if you still play football.” 

“I don’t play anymore”, declares Robert seemingly serious and cold but Thomas feels the urge to hug him since football has been his passion “I got injured some years ago, severe cruciate rupture, you can imagine the rest.” 

The other man nods, putting a hand on the other man’s shoulder, to his nemesis’ surprise, who wasn’t prepared for this. 

“I don’t want people to pity me”, clarifies the former football player annoyed “Especially not you, I’m sick of you pitying me, okay? Let’s get that date behind us and then we never have to talk to each other again.” 

“Never talking to each other again”, agrees Thomas half-heartedly “Sounds like a good plan to me but don’t ruin their wedding.” 

Never talking to each other again. Those words keep replaying in Thomas’ mind, he remembered how he couldn’t wait for graduation just to never see Robert again but the thought of him never seeing him again after this terrifies him. It leaves a void inside of him and leaves him devastated, his chest aches just by thinking of a farewell and maybe, just maybe, some part of him wants him in his life. Maybe he loves life-threatening and doesn’t want to settle for ordinary and sane, Lewy brings out another side to him, a darker more passionate side. 

Lewy’s hand wanders on Thomas’ inner thighs, rests there and when glancing over at the other man, he could tell he wanted the football player wanted it as badly as he did. In this moment, he didn’t care about their mutual hatred, the wedding or any other circumstances, all he cared about was that specific moment. 

He wants Thomas hands running through his hair and wants to push him closer, close enough to hear his heart beating nervously and he wants their lips being addicted to each other. Lewy misses those addictive lips, he urges to kiss him passionate enough for Thomas to push him away to breathe heavily, for him to moan in frustration that that seemingly endless kiss would find an ending. He’d want to take Thomas’ hand in his, and the defense attorney would smile to himself when observing Thomas even though he would never admit to liking Thomas. 

“Lewy, stop”, gives the football player his date a warning look but staring at his date’s lips long enough for Robert to know that he doesn’t want any of this to stop. Lewy’s warm hand slowly moves upwards when observing his date’s reaction to it, he starts massaging the muscles with some light finger strokes making its way upwards. Just by watching his reaction, the defense attorney could simply tell how aroused he is and that when their eyes meet both want the same thing. Both of them couldn’t take their eyes off each other and get totally lost in each other’s eyes right before realizing that their cab has already arrived at the wedding. Without a hesitation, Thomas pushes Lewy’s hand off his inner thigh when the other man reaches for his hand while getting off the cab. 

“I don’t want to take your hand”, whispers the man quite annoyed, not too happy about Lewy being his date “I only go out with you to make Manuel jealous.” 

Taking his hand, Robert pushes him close enough for others not to hear what they are talking about. 

“Trust me, I know how you’ll get him jealous”, insists Lewy seemingly knowing how to act around the man “He’ll be jealous enough to fall back into your arms and you’ll never have to see me again.” 

Thomas doesn’t intend on pushing his hand away and just holds on to his date’s hand, Manuel would be shocked to seeing him holding hands with Mr. Perfect. So maybe all of this would be worth it after all. He isn’t doing do this for fun, he just does it to make Manuel jealous and for him to end back into his arms. That’s it. It's not a date to him and he’d never date someone as arrogant as Robert Lewandowski, at least that’s what Thomas thought. Mats, who Thomas has never seen that nervous, is already waiting for him and thankfully smiling at him. 

“Do you have an announcement to make?” raises the groom his eyebrow when glancing at the two of them holding hands “Dibs on being Thomas’ best man.” 

“Well it will just be a matter of time”, declares Lewy with a big grin when glancing over at Thom-as with a look he could have misunderstood as incredibly loving and affectionate, but Robert seems to fake it, both of them know that he isn’t any of those things. 

“Dream on, Lewandowski”, adds Thomas eye-rolling when his former boyfriend approaches surprisingly without company but doesn’t even greet Thomas. 

“You look gorgeous, Liebling”, says Robert loud enough for Manuel to hear it, holding on to his fake boyfriend’s hand and giving him a sweet smile “Can’t believe you are actually drawing all attention to you on your best friend’s wedding.” 

Manuel, who is passing the two guys flirting with each other, makes his way to Mats to welcome him too. 

“Hey Mats”, greets Manuel him friendly, with a whole-hearted smile “Who invited the arrogant prick from high school? I don’t remember you guys being that close.” 

That’s when Thomas decided it’s time to interfere the situation while taking Lewy’s arm to make sure that it looks like the two of them are a couple. 

“I did”, explains to the football player when glancing at Manu with a stare, none of them has ever seen on Thomas, you are dead to me stare. The man raises his eyebrow annoyed when not intending on breaking the eye contact with Manu, who seemed to try to ignore him for most parts of the party. “And don’t you dare to insult my boyfriend like that, are we clear?” 

Thomas, who is known for being a cheerful person who hates confrontation, can no longer hold his anger back when Lewy tries to calm him a little, by gently striking his hand and telling him that it’s okay. 

“You guys hate each other”, adds his ex-boyfriend unbelieving, giving Thomas an unfamiliar, questioning look “In high school, you didn’t let a day go by without fighting and bullying each other, and now you are a couple? Thomas, I thought you were better than that.” 

The football player, who feels the anger taking charge of his body and taking over his mind, can only be stopped by his date who tries to interfere the scene by standing in front of Thomas, willing to defend him. 

“Manu, sweetheart”, remarks Robert very sarcastic when slowly approaching, close enough for their foreheads to meet. He won’t let Manuel attack his date, only he is allowed to attack Thom-as and to get away with it. “We both know you are jealous, now that you can’t have him anymore. You played the caring best friend only to control him but you have blood on your hands, Neuer, you are nothing but a manipulative liar.” “Manuel, what does he mean by that?” confronts Thomas his former partner curious and angry at the same time, the part with blood on his hands was only a metaphor, right? He would never be capable of doing something like that. 

“Thomas, don’t”, tells Robert his fake boyfriend to stay away from the two of them, mumbling something about personal, unfinished business, something that truly concerns him. 

“I have a right to know”, demonstrates the man facing both of the man, who exchange glances on how much of the truth they should tell him. 

“Go ahead, Lewandowski”, declares Manuel only waiting for Thomas to hear about the betrayal of his so-called boyfriend “Tell him everything, he has been your boyfriend for the longest time.” 

Manuel, who catches sight of Benni, leaves the two of them behind when it’s Lewy taking Thomas’ arm and bringing him to a place without any witnesses. 

“Where are you taking me?” questions a mad football player who wants to demonstrate and is desperate to know the truth “Take your hands off me and tell me the truth.” 

“Not here”, whispers his nemesis into his ear, gently guiding his arm into an empty room, far away from the crowd “Here are too many witnesses?” 

“Too many witnesses for what?” asks the man knowing the answer already but not believing that he could betray him like that “For killing me?” 

“Shut up, Thomas”, ignores the defense attorney trying to ignore the comment when guiding the man into a small, cold room and locking the door behind him “If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead already. All I wanna do is talk.” Thomas feels his hands getting cold and sweaty when pushing the other man away from him, he doesn’t want to feel Robert’s arm on his. This situation leaves him terrified, there is no way to escape and he could hear his heart beating faster and faster, anxiety took over his body and he simply knew this would be his ending. Robert has always been known as a ruthless, determined person and him exposing the gun he has been carrying with him only lets him get to one conclusion: Robert will be his death, literally his death and not just in some your love will be my death way. 

“I can explain”, says Lewy incredibly calm, he hasn’t done that for the first time, Thomas could tell. His date didn’t show any kind of remote, guilt or despair, that every normal person would, it’s just a calmness that frightens him even more. A cold shiver runs down his spine and he tries to breathe, to get his breathing under control but when their eyes met, he realises he cannot do that. This isn’t the time to be calm. 

“Please, let me explain”, asks Robert almost begging for Thomas to listen when throwing the gun on the ground and kicking it over to Thomas, who only ends up more confused than ever before “I won’t hurt you but you need to listen to me, okay?” 

Not having much of a choice, Thomas agrees when his glance focuses on the loaded gun lying on the ground next to him “But why do you give me your gun?” 

“I’ll tell you the whole story”, insists Robert not intending to break the intense eye contact when pointing at the gun next to Thomas “And in the end, you decide whether you pull the trigger or not, are we clear?” 

“Why should I…-“, wants Thomas to know when the other man interrupts him halfway through the sentence, just to shake his head and tell him the story. 

“Just follow my orders”, adds Lewy unfamiliar in a very serious tone “But if you pull the trigger, make it look like an accident. Maybe suicide? It’s your choice.” 

“You remember that I’m a defense attorney, every day I get confronted with some of the heaviest cases you could imagine, arson murder, homicide, just all kinds of murder. It’s my job to defend their actions, you may ask yourself how I do that. How I defend people for whom there should be no justice. I know because I have asked myself that too, I was naïve enough to think that I could change the world in a good way, that there was justice and that everyone gets what they deserve. That was before I became one of them.” 

“One of who?” interrogates Thomas distancing himself from the defense attorney, he could tell the man was up to no good. Taking some deep breaths didn’t ease the pain he could feel taking over his chest, the pain of knowing the truth because sometimes the truth is better unspoken. 

Sometimes people are more comfortable with a pleasing lie than the cruel, painful truth, this is one of those cases. 

2 years ago: 

“Your first client”, declares his boss when guiding him over into the cell guarded by security, his first client has been imprisoned in one of the best-guarded prisons there is “Should it get too much, just call for the security and have fun.” 

Have fun? His first client is prosecuted because of a case of arson killing his wife and his children and he is supposed to have a heart-warming chat with a killer? 

Sounds legit but after all, it’s a job, a job you can earn a lot of money with and a job making him forget about his dream of becoming a football player. 

Everyone he knows told him that becoming a football player is not realistic and that a job as a defense attorney would open him doors to job offers all around the globe, so he decided to study law instead. But this is no longer theory, this is a case with a real killer and no motive in the world could justify an act as cruel and cold as killing off his whole family and watching them burn in a house he had set on fire. There was no justice for a killer, there should be no justice for a killer. He didn’t care about his motives, he didn’t want to listen to a man justify one of the worst actions possible for a human. 

How could he still smile after that? How could someone possibly be happy about taking someone's life, nobody should be empowered to take the life of another person, at least when it comes to Lewy. 

“I know what you’re going to ask”, starts the criminal the conversation cold, his eyes meeting Lewy’s but not just for a brief moment. He seemed serious but cold, there was no guilt or remorse, it was as if it would be perfectly normal to act like this. 

“What were your motives?” asks the criminal the question Robert would ask him himself when smiling a little, turning back to him “But you know my motive, don’t you? It’s always the same motive, isn’t it? It’s that simple.” 

“Love?” concludes the defense attorney who is considerably bad at this job but he needed some backup plan for life after him not being able to ever play football again “Even love can’t justify murder.” 

“You think it doesn’t?” laughs the man almost hysterical when sipping on the glass of water standing next to him, realising that the man in front of him was way too soft for this job. He could never get away with murder. “Mr. Lewandowski, hear me out. How would you react if someone took the thing you loved the most away from you? What would you do to this person?” 

“What I’d do, isn’t why we are here”, declares the lawyer trying to escape that question and change the topic back to him “But whatever you are going to tell me, won’t change that you are guilt. Not even love justifies murder, nothing justifies murder.” 

“Okay, fine, Mr. Lewandowski, listen”, continues the man cold as if this was some kind of routine when facing him “You just lost your job that meant the world to you and catch your wife cheating on you in your own bed with your best friend, what would you do to your wife.” 

“I’m gay, I think that answers your question”, the defense attorney doesn’t want to relate to that clearly sick psychopathic killer who doesn’t even feel ashamed about his crime “This isn’t about me, this is very unlucky but still it doesn’t justify arson, continue. How did that make you feel?” 

“How did that make you feel? You would have made a great psychologist, that’s what everyone asks me”, adds the man rather annoyed when observing the man’s gesture and recognising his judgment “I didn’t feel anything, maybe relieved? Okay, I felt relieved, I didn’t feel guilty. If my wife didn’t want me, nobody should have her.” 

“If you had loved her, you wouldn’t have seen her as some property”, insists the man disgusted, not taking those bad excuses any longer. Maybe he should have pursued a career as a psychologist instead but as someone who is deeply broken, that wouldn’t have been the best idea. “You are a psychopath, you must have felt something. Guilt? Remote? You must have blamed yourself and you would do everything to get her back.” 

“Mr. Lewandowski, you are naïve”, declares the psychopath observing and trying to study his behaviour “It made me happy, watching that house burn has made me felt better than everything ever before. The thought of her suffering was the best revenge I could have gotten.” 

“It’s all about temptation, Mr. Lewandowski, and opportunity. You’ll remember my words”, is everything the criminal says to defend himself and those words are stuck in Lewy’s mind until the present day not letting go of that interview. 

Present Day: 

“Okay, what do you want to tell me with that?” wants the football player to know, his eyes widened of shock and his hands shaking, he takes the gun into his hands only to make sure that he won’t even think of approaching “That you are a ruthless killer?” 

“I work as an assassin”, confesses Lewy watching Thomas who points the gun directly at him and threatens to shoot in case he’d approach “My job as a defense attorney taught me how to let people get away with murder, so who says that I couldn’t?” 

Thomas takes a step back, feeling overwhelmed and shocked by that information. It is as if psychopaths are his favourite type to date. 

“I’ve been trained to kill but I haven’t”, insists Robert with Thomas raising an eyebrow in disbelief, he had a lot of opportunities to kill and get away with it, who would possibly trust someone as ruthless as him. “In fact, the person I was assigned to kill is you. I was supposed to make it look like an accident, probably suicide, you wouldn’t be the first one to kill yourself after a breakup. I’ve seen it all.” All of the sudden, Robert turns insecure, sitting on the floor, leaned against the door and his head buried in his hands. Not sure what he should do, he could never complete that job but he is forced to. He’d rather have Thomas killing him than him killing Thomas, his hands have been shaking and he could never forgive himself for taking the life of the man that made him feel again, the man that made him want to be good. For once. 

“Why wouldn’t you do it?” wants the football player to know taking a seat next to the devastated man, who couldn’t hold back the tears but didn’t want Thomas to see him that vulnerable. He wouldn’t want Thomas to see that he isn’t Mr. Perfect, that he is broken, incredibly flawed and that maybe all he needs is for someone to make him their priority, for someone to love him and for someone to help him save himself from that misery. 

“Go ahead, shoot me”, mumbles Robert, in that moment he did no longer care, the person he cared most about hated him so there was nothing to live for. 

This was the justice he deserves, being killed in the most brutal, cruel way possible, he didn’t deserve someone as great as Thomas. 

“Shhh, I won’t shoot you”, puts Thomas his arm around his date who couldn’t even face him anymore out of guilt and remote but Thomas gently strikes his arm, tells him that everything is fine and that he just tries to understand why he wouldn’t complete his job. 

“Isn’t it obvious, Thomas?” faces Robert the other man, his head no longer buried in his hands and tears filling his eyes. The football player observes the tears rolling down his cheek, the tears forming in his eyes and the desperation that his nemesis feels in that moment. 

“I’m in love with you, Thomas”, confesses the man in tears, knowing that no reasonable man would ever date the mess he is “I tried to kill it, I tried to deny it and I told myself to never let you know. Your life has been perfectly fine without me, you had it all, I wanted you to be happy and safe. But I can’t make you happy and I can’t make you feel safe.” 

He couldn’t let his nemesis alone in a situation like that, he has never seen Mr. Perfect that devastated before, so he pushes him close to him and tries to be the confidant Robert had never had. 

“Listen, Robert”, insists the football player gently striking his arm and trying to calm him down “The only person that has the power to make me happy is myself, okay? It’s not your job to make me happy.” 

His left arm reaches for his hand, taking it into his and not intending on letting go. Their eyes meet and for the first time in his life, he realised how fragile Robert Lewandowski is, it wouldn’t take much to destroy him. He would have to get up, leave him back alone and never come back, that way he’d break his heart bad enough for Robert to eventually go for the killer shot one day. He could not risk it. 

“Please go, Thommy”, whispers the former football player rather to himself than to the other man, one part of him wanted to be alone and the other part was terrified of himself and being left alone. “I don’t want you to see me like that.” 

“You want me to leave you alone in a room with a loaded gun?” questions Thomas shocked not making a move, knowing that at that moment the other man would be capable of basically everything “I would never forgive myself for leaving you alone, I would never forgive myself for you killing yourself.” 

“I’m here”, demonstrates the man holding on to his nemesis who is a mess “I want you to look at me and don’t fight it.” 

Lewy glances at Thomas, his gorgeous blue eyes have a way of shining when being filled with tears, nobody could make pain look as good as Robert Lewandowski if he wasn’t that broken. 

His eyes were looking for forgiveness, the tears didn’t stop from rolling back down the cheek and the desperate Robert had no control over his body anymore. 

Thomas’ thumb gently wipes away the tears of his date when a little welcoming smile forms on Thomas’ lips, no longer able to take his eyes off him and them just getting lost into each other’s eyes. 

“I can’t believe my date is the most handsome man on the wedding”, smiles the best man when getting up, reaching for his hand to help him get up and continuing to wipe the tears away from those perfect cheeks. The perfect cheeks of the unperfect Robert Lewandowski. 

Only some more minutes left until the ceremony starts and Mats would probably personally kill Thomas for not showing up, that’s why he grabs his date’s hand and guides him outside of that room again. 

“You needed some alone time, huh?” questions Benedikt with a knowing look but clearly happy about seeing those two holding hands “You can’t imagine how nervous I am.” 

It’s Thomas waiting next to Mats at the aisle, the two of them decided to get married in a beautiful room within a stunning castle, a worthy location for a couple that most people would describe as the perfect couple. Mats catches sight of Benedikt and a big smile forms on his face and Benni can’t hold back a beautiful smile when he sees his groom who is already waiting for him next to the aisle. Thomas smiles over his best friends who have found their fortune within each other and he wishes to have that one day, too, someone who cares enough to stay with him during good and during bad times, someone with whom he could figure everything out. Lewy, who has been sitting in the first row, glances at the best man and winks a little at him when it’s Mats who is the first one to start with the vows. 

“Benni, I couldn’t imagine life without you and I don’t want to. You are my best friend, the first person I want to share news with. You are the person I want to wake up to, the person I want to laugh with and the person you cry with. I want to be the person you start a philosophical discussion in the middle of the night with but also the one I watch Bundesliga with, the one who would make fun of my team but the one I couldn’t stand a day without. You make good times better and you make bad times alright, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life watching Revierderbies with you.” 

Mats holds on to his fiancé’s hand, who is clearly touched by those emotional words, Mats isn’t known to be romantic but in his own way, he was incredibly romantic. Benedikt couldn’t stand waking up to someone other than that dramatic idiot. 

“Mats, I love you and I feel like every day with you makes me love you a little bit more. I vow to be there for you in good and in bad times, I want to be the reason you smile and I vow to bring out the best in you. I vow to be your greatest fan and your toughest adversary. I vow to wake up next to you in the morning, to be the person to make you pancakes in your old shirt but also the person who will hold you when life gets too much to handle. I vow to be your best friend, your lover and your husband until the end of times. And every day, I’ll wake up with a smile because that’s when I realise how lucky I am to be with you.” 

Thomas smiles at his best friends who are still in love each other just like on the day they met when his eyes met Robert’s across the room, who gives him an encouraging smile and seems to be as touched as he is, although he’d never admit that. 

“Go get him”, encourages Mats his best man to get the man he loves, Thomas is now asked to give his best man’s speech, the one he couldn’t find inspiration to write but now that his gaze focuses on Lewy, after the events that have occurred that day, he doesn’t need keywords to speak his mind. This time he just decides to let his heart speak for once. 

“When I was asked to be best man, I was honestly surprised, who wouldn’t be both surprised and happy when a couple you only wish the best for asked you to give a speech and cherish their love? I never understood love until I met the two of them and there is no one better for Mats than Benedikt and no one better for Benedikt than Mats, they have a way of understanding each other, I’ve never seen before. Their love isn’t only built on mutual respect, a close friendship but also on a deep understanding of the each other, even if the two of them are separated from each other, they could tell if the other one needed them. Their love has never needed words, this speech doesn’t need words to explain the explainable, you just have to see the way they look at each other to comprehend what love is. This made me ask myself, what is love? How would you describe love to a child who has never experienced that kind of romantic love?” 

Thomas takes three breaths, breaking the eye contact with his two best friends when his gaze wanders to look for Lewy’s and when their eyes met, he is nervous and needs to get all his courage together to confess his feelings. “I think love is just a close friendship, it’s wanting to see the other person happy no matter what, it’s what keeps the world together. Love is indefinable but I think there is a Mats out for us, a Mats to someone like me, a Mats to my Benni. I could tell you about the way they met and all the heart-warming things they have said to each other but the moment that defines their love best is them watching football. Benedikt, the Schalke fan, and Mats, the BVB fan, I remember watching them watching the Revierderby and despite both of them being different, supporting different teams, despite all of the fightings during matches, despite all the bad times, they’d end up in each other’s arms no matter which team won. After all, all the disputes, all the obstacles the two of them had to face, it only mattered to have each other to support in the ending. If you found that kind of love, you should never let go of it and fight for it. I should know because I found it too. Don’t give up on a person you cannot go a day without talking to, don’t give up on someone who challenges you and don’t give up on someone who will hold you when life gets too much to handle.” 

Robert smiles at him and their eyes met, both of each other understanding that they had this kind of love, that they have overcome so much together and that the two of them were like Mats and Benedikt in some way. Thomas blushes when they didn’t break the eye contact and smiles uncontrollably when grabbing his glass of champagne and raising it. 

“To Benedikt and Mats”, he toasts when raising his glass and both of them pushing him into a close hug, not able to believe that their friend would find the right, romantic words to describe it. 

Watching his best friend dance, Thomas couldn’t hold back the enthusiasm about how perfect they completed each other, how imperfect, perfect they were. 

“Hey, best man”, declares a familiar, male voice approaching with a big grin “Wanna have this dance with me?” 

“Hmmm”, answers the football player pretending to be thinking about it “But only if you don’t kill me.” 

“I won’t, I promise”, explains the best man’s date when resting his hand on Thomas’ waist and the best man resting his hand on the defense attorney’s shoulders “Your speech was breath-taking, I’m speechless.” 

“Let’s just say I had the best inspiration”, smiles the man pushing his date closer for their lips to the point of almost touching “I would kiss you but it’s our first date.” 

Lewy shakes his head about his date playing hard to get when his lips lean closer to his ear, seductively approaching “Are you saying there will be a second one?” 

He clearly enjoys Robert being that close to him and gives him a whole-hearted smile, leaning a little closer “You won’t get rid of me, Robert Lewandowski.” 

“I’ll get on your nerves and have penalty shootouts with you until death separates us, what do you say?” offers Thomas with his date shaking his head, trying to cover up the fact that he couldn’t control a smile. 

“Sign me up for this”, declares Lewy when not breaking the eye contact “You should include this in your vows, I, Thomas Müller, love to play hard to get, I won’t kiss on the first date but proposing on a first date, that’s fine.” 


End file.
